Online Dating and Background Checks

Being online these days is so common that it’s the subject of the hit single aptly titled, Online, by country singer Brad Paisley.  For those of you Knoxville folks and web readers out there not familiar with country music the song is about a harmless nerd, who is an adult child living with his parents.  His physical attributes leave something to be desired as he puts it:

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

And as he states near the beginning of the song, “But there’s a whole ‘nother me, that you need to see.  Go checkout MySpace.” 

The fact that people are going online and pretending to be something they are not is now basically a cliché in our culture.  Unfortunately, one group of pretenders is married people seeking “dates” on online dating communities.  According to Online Dating Magazine nearly ¼ of all people who participate in online dating are married.    

The Washington Post ran an article earlier this year, Dinner, Movie and a Background Check for Online Daters which cited a study that some believe as high as 60% of the online participants are lying about their marital status.  As if lying about being married isn’t bad enough, you could be dating a murder,  as one lady in the article found out she had been dating a convicted murderer for eight months .

With today’s busy lifestyles and far flung family structures many single people are opting to meet potential suitors online.  I actually know someone who has been happily married to a man she initially met online and chances are you know of similar online dating success stories.  But as the song depicts anyone can say they are anyone or anything online.  Therefore you need to exercise caution.

Before you invest a lot of emotional energy in an online suitor it is prudent to run a few checks to determine if they are indeed who they claim to be.  You can search most state’s sex offender registries for free, for example Tennessee’s can be found here http://www.ticic.state.tn.us/sorinternet/sosearch.aspx.  For criminal records and marriage and divorce records it would be advisable to have a private investigator perform a background check which would uncover previous addresses, that way the records in all locations can be checked.  A special note regarding divorce records, it may be advisable that you order copies of these records as they may uncover domestic violence or other potentially volatile issues you would want to be aware of.  You can also check various online groups and blogs to get a better feel for the person.   A good place to start is www.icerocket.com which includes a MySpace search tab as well. 

 

Good luck, and stay safe.