I wrote an article on daycare abuse prompted by the Noah’s Ark incident recently, it has been ruled that the two women involved with this incident will have their case tried in grand court. They are being charged with felony child neglect. There’s been another news story recently, in which a foster dad choked and killed his foster son that has made headlines. He is being charged with reckless homicide (Class D felony which carries up to a four year sentence) and is currently out on bond. These are just two of several such stories within the last few months.
While this is an investigator’s blog I’m taking a different turn today and listing ways to help be part of the solution before the fact. Yes, please, please continue to report incidences of child abuse and neglect. I realize some of the stories suggest that sadly those reports have not been paid proper attention, but you accomplish nothing by turning a blind eye. (And if you know of a way in which private investigators can help investigate these claims email me). But today I’ve provided some simple tips to help as well as information on organizations in Knox County that are working to help those who are victims of child abuse or working to prevent abuse and provide some tips on how people can make a difference. Additionally, I invite comments, emails and suggestions on ways to help prevent child abuse and information on organizations and people that are currently making a different.
Simple Tips to Help (from The Center For Child Abuse Prevention)
What Can We Do To Help a Child in our Daily Life?
We can work together to stop abuse before it starts, stop the length of time a child experiences abuse, and make the effects of abuse less harmful to the child. As a concerned person, stopping abuse before it starts involves being a caring part of your extended family and community. Here are a few suggestions.
- Smile at the children and parents you see, even if the children are “acting up”.
- Get to know the names of children and parents you come in contact with regularly.
- Reach out to parents and children in your community. Ask them about their lives or interests. Let them know you want to help.
- When you see parents struggling with their child’s behavior in a public place, don’t turn away or stare with disdain. Distract the child or offer a snack (with the parent’s permission). Offer to help bag the groceries, carry a diaper bag, etc. Make positive comments about the child. Offer empathy. Here is a list of positive comments you can make to a stressed parent which will help them relax and reduce their stress:
• “I remember times like that when I had young children.”
• “I always thought parenting was the hardest job I have ever done.”
• “My child used to do that too.”
• “My child was pretty challenging but he turned out to be a great adult.” - If you know a family where the parents seem to be struggling, focus on their positive behaviors as a parent. Talk to them about the good parenting do you see. Comment on the positive behaviors of their children and the good things you see in their children. This response can go a long way in helping them cope better. The last thing a frustrated parent needs is to feel you are criticizing them or their children!
- Here is a list of ways to reframe children’s behavior in a positive light:
• “I wish I had as much energy as your child has, I wish I could borrow some of it now.”
• “She is quite an explorer.”
• “Your child sure has a creative mind.”
• “Your child can really express himself.”
• “Your child has persistence that will serve him wonderfully later in life.”
As a parent, preventing abuse means taking care of yourself. Getting regular support or time alone. Introverts, who are parenting, often need more time alone than they are likely to get. Extroverts, who are parenting, are often not getting enough adult time with their peers. Make the time for yourself so you do not get depleted of emotional energy and positive attitudes. It means monitoring yourself to ensure you are not going heading towards abuse yourself. If you are feeling frustrated frequently and are uncomfortable with your behavior as a parent, seek help. See Hotline for Contact Numbers.As a parent, preventing abuse means teaching your child how to talk about all parts of their body and teach them they can so “no” to unwanted touch. It means being aware of the signs of abuse and not ignoring those signs (if present) in your own children. It means developing a trusting relationship within which your child feels comfortable talking to you. It means giving your child permission to talk to other “helpers” when they are experiencing problems. Other helpers include teachers, daycare providers, doctors, extended family members, etc. More information about protecting your child from sexual abuse is available at www.stopitnow.com.As a concerned person, if you are aware of abuse, please report the abuse to authorities. See “getting help or reporting abuse”. If you are involved in a child’s life who has experienced abuse, be supportive and listen. The child needs to be believed and know that others care.As a parent, if you feel you are being abusive, seek help. See “getting help or reporting abuse”. Remember that the sooner you get the help and support you need the quicker things will improve. If you suspect your child is being abused by your partner or other family member, please take action. Explore the reasons for suspicion with a professional. Ask the child about his/her experiences. Tend towards believing the child. Children rarely make up abuse accusations, especially when the suspected abuse is sexual.
If your child has experienced abuse, seek help for him/her. There are many, trained professionals that can help.
KNOX COUNTY ORGANIZATIONS I’VE FOUND:
Child and Family Tennessee:
This program provides many different avenues of education, and advocacy.
They specifically have volunteer needs as follows:
UPDATE: I had a request to add the following for this organization:
Volunteer needs for Child & Family Tennessee include:
Collecting cellular telephones to be used by domestic violence survivors in their plan to stay safe from an abuser.
Helpers needed to provide care and rock babies in our therapeutic Nursery with children ages 6 months to 5 years old. Monday – Friday, 7:30 AM to 5:30 PM
Mentors are needed to work with teenagers in Youth OPEN. Hours vary (mostly after school hours or volunteers could use help during regular school hours at our school)
Puppeteers to help present shows to children in local schools for Kids on the Block; drama experience a plus, hours are regular school hours on an as needed basis.
Need volunteers to help with receiving visitors and clerical work in our counseling center, hours are Monday-Friday, 8 AM to 5 PM.
Our domestic violence shelter needs volunteers to answer the 24 hour, 7 day a week telephone crisis hotline and to mentor and support abused women and children at the Family Crisis Center.
Transport and advocate for women in substance abuse treatment as they work to stop addiction and keep their family together.
Gift wrappers and shoppers needed during the holiday season that will help provide Christmas gifts for disadvantaged children and families.
Hours and days listed are the normal hours for which volunteers typically work in that area. Please direct questions or interest in volunteering at Child & Family through Alicia Glenn at (865) 524-7483, ext. 186. She can also be reached by e-mail at aglenn@child-family.org.
Volunteer OpportunitiesFamily Crisis Center:
This center houses and provides counseling groups for women and children in crises due to domestic violence. Volunteers are needed to answer the 24-hour crisis line, provide childcare during counseling sessions for mothers, and to assist staff in providing play therapy for children. Training is given on a bi-monthly basis.
Great Starts:
Volunteers are needed to hold babies and play with children ages 6 weeks to 4 years old in our therapeutic nursery/day care for children who have been exposed to drugs/alcohol and other high risk children. Childcare is needed some nights and weekends while the mothers are involved in treatment sessions.
Kids on the Block:
Volunteers are needed in Knox, Sevier, Blount and other surrounding counties to serve as puppeteers to provide education to children regarding sensitive subjects such as divorce, AIDS, disability awareness, child abuse, etc. Volunteers must be able to learn the presentation script and puppetry techniques as well as commit to a presentation one time a week throughout the school year and/or summer.
Safe Place:
Volunteers are trained to respond to youth in crisis that are requesting help at a Safe Place location in our community. Volunteers respond within 15 minutes after they are called to talk with the youth and to access the situation. Although all Safe Place volunteers are required to attend a 6-hour session, the additional time commitment is minimal. Most volunteers are called less than once a month. There are additional opportunities to conduct presentations to school and/or community groups.
Bridging the Gap:
BTG staff are looking for reading/homework mentors for the children (typically 4-10 years old) of program participants. Interested in volunteering? Contact the Human Resources Department at (865) 524-7483 for further information.
Catholic Charities of East Tennessee:http://www.ccetn.org/Charities_May_06/CSAC.html
The Children’s Shelter and Assessment Center houses children from birth to age 17 for up to ten days following removal from home in cases of abandonment, abuse or neglect and tries to locate viable relatives for placement of the children in an effort to avoid state custody.
Catholic Charities also offers home-based family counseling and parenting education programs.
The Florence Crittenton Agency, Inc.:
This organization provides CAPS (Child and Parenting Skills) for teen parents. You can find out how to volunteer and donate to this organization at the above link.
Helen Ross McNabb: Erin.Robets@mcnabb.org
HOPE (Help, Overcome, Prevent, and Educate) program strives to develop a relationship within the family, build on their strengths and help them with tools to foster a nurturing family environment as well as offering parenting education groups.
Safe Haven Center: Contact Holly Fuquay at hfuquay@safehavencenter.org or 865-558-9040 for more information.
The group provides education and prevention strategies for sexual assault and assists victims.
They have an ongoing need for jog suits, undergarments and socks.
ChildHelp http://www.childhelp.org/regional/tennessee
Working on prevention, intervention and foster care. They have an ongoing need for the following:
Chapter Wish List
In-kind donations of products and services (such as the items listed below) typically are in demand at the Tennessee office. If you are interested in making an in-kind donation, contact the office directly.Every child who receives a medical examination at the Childhelp Children’s Center of East Tennessee or the Childhelp Children’s Mobile Advocacy Center of East Tennessee gets to choose a toy to keep from the toy closet. New toys and gifts are needed for the young children’s and the teen’s closets.
State Organization: http://www.pcat.org/index.php
State Statistics:http://ndas.cwla.org/data_stats/states/Fact_Sheets/Tennessee.pdf
National Organizations:
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